Writing hasn’t always come easily to me, especially in English. As someone who grew up in a household where English was not the first language spoken, I often felt like I was playing catch-up with words, grammar, and expression among my peers.
My family immigrated just two years before I was born. Though we lived in a predominantly English-speaking neighbourhood, I didn’t begin speaking English fluently until I started the First Grade. Like many students in Quebec, my schooling emphasized French grammar far more than English.
I won’t get into the politics of it, but the result was that we did not spend a lot of time learning English grammar, sentence structures – we spent most of our time on spelling bees and vocabulary. I excelled at these!! I picked up what I thought I needed the best way I could: through listening, reading, and trial by fire – that is, assignments receiving less than a B grade!!
For years, my writing felt like a mosaic of ideas; a mix of emotion, imagery, and run-on sentences that tumbled out in waves. Yet even in the chaos, there was purpose. Writing became my way of processing the world, and in some strange way, healing from it.
From Breakups to Picket Lines
I’ve always written from the heart. As a teenager and young adult, breakups gave me fertile ground to explore emotions on the page. Back then, I used school writing books and pencils – always pencils. I loved having an eraser. I needed it.
Later in life, during a labour strike that affected 1,700 of my colleagues, I found myself returning to writing with a new intensity. After hours of picketing in the cold and rain, I’d come home, take a hot shower, make some tea, and lie in bed with my laptop. Sometimes I couldn’t wait for any of that! I had to write before I could exhale again!
I posted my reflections in a private social media group for fellow picketers. The response was immediate and overwhelming. People thanked me for giving voice to their own unspoken feelings. I hadn’t realized how deeply these diary-style entries would resonate. My personal account had become our collective story.
This ritual lasted three full months in the fall of 2011. We were split across two locations: one urban and windswept, the other quieter and set beside a lake, often graced by local wildlife. I picketed near the lake. The foliage was beautiful, and that September was unusually warm. The following months were kind as well with the exception of snow and colder days in late November. It felt like a surreal backdrop to such a high-stakes moment in our lives.
Finding the Flow
Over time, writing became less of a struggle and more of a flow. I still prefer typing to handwriting – editing is faster, and I’m in a committed relationship with the delete and cut-paste buttons. I keep blank journals nearby for ideas, themes, even doodles that remind me to keep creating.
For a long while, for some reason, I would often write on the same massage table where I offered Reiki sessions. No wonder my clients fall asleep so easily – there’s a calm energy there. It’s where ideas whispered to me gently, instead of trying to scream their way out.
Writing has become my way of releasing the inner noise – just like singing once was. And now, singing has returned too, in the form of “Healing Song Meditation“. A full circle moment.
The Purpose Beneath the Pages
If you’re someone who struggles with English as a second (or even third) language, or if writing has ever felt like a battlefield, know this: you’re not alone. Your story, however imperfectly told, has power. Expression doesn’t need perfect grammar to be profound.
Today, I’ve self-published four books, including two mandala colouring books filled with affirmations for entrepreneurs. The girl who once feared conjugating English verbs is now writing, designing, and sharing her voice, and encouraging others to do the same.
Writing for me is no longer just a challenge. It’s some-what of a calling. It’s a creative pulse that helps me regulate my nervous system when things go awry – whether in my personal life or in the collective.
And maybe, just maybe, it’s yours too.
If this story resonates with you – whether you’re navigating language challenges, rediscovering your voice, or yearning to write from the heart, know that you’re not alone. Writing has become a powerful tool in my life, and I now help others uncover and shape their own stories through books, content creation, and mindful entrepreneurship. You can explore my creative offerings, including guided meditations, self-published books, and supportive services for heart-led entrepreneurs and anyone with a dream for expression at IlluminateThePage.com. Whether you’re just beginning or ready to refine your message, there’s room for your voice to shine.
If you wish to follow more of my journey, here is another blog for inspiration: “Reading and How it Inspired Me”
LUCY TOPPETTA 